So Scott discovered something about Gavin yesterday while at church. AT CHURCH OF ALL PLACES! We get to church and Gav, OF COURSE, has to go to the bathroom. Gav has a bladder the size of a flea - either that or he just likes exploring bathrooms. He's been to the one at Our Lady of Mercy before; several times in fact. But of course, right in between the homily and the Prayer of the Faithful Gav starts doing the pee pee dance. I thought Scott was going to shoot him - not in church of course, but Scott was not happy. But he took him.
When they got back, Scott had a smirk on his face. He whispered to me, "I sent you a text message. Oh, and I figured out why Gavin holds his hand behind his back on his butt when he pees". Really? Hmmm I can't say that this was keeping me awake nights, wondering why my son holds his ass when he pees. Not to be gross, but watching Gavin pee is hysterical enough. We do value our privacy here at 62 Wesley, however, Gav tends to pee with the door open. He POSES when he goes to the bathroom and it reminds me of Mark Wahlberg in "Boogie Nights" - you know the last scene, when he's standing in front of a mirror, admiring his super-long...well you catch my drift. Gav literally poses and pees. It's hysterical. And he knows he's funny. But back to the hand on the butt thing. Mind you, I have my misselette in hand and I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON BEING HOLY AND MY HUSBAND IS TRYING TO DISCUSS OUR SON'S TOILET HABITS. So I shoot Scott a dirty look and tell him I can't check my phone and he can tell me later. OK, Scott's idea of later is the sign of the peace. I lean in to kiss him and shake hands and I get:
"Babe, he holds his hand on his butt when he pees because he says he doesn't want the poop to sneak out"
Oh my God. Put a fork in me, I'm done. I can't even look at any member of my family because if I do I'm going to bust out laughing. Thankfully there is no one in the row in front of us. In back of us is Scott's sister Joelle, our niece Ali and her friend Trina. I pray they didn't hear this, although that little revelation would likely liven up Mass for them. I look at Gavin, who just shrugs his shoulders and shoots me a smile.
Never a dull moment in the LaDore house.