The Automatic Flush

Here's a Francesca "oldie but goodie" - this happened back in September right after she started kindergarten...


Francesca started kindergarten earlier this month at Park Avenue. Yippee!! Or maybe not...She told us how great her classroom was, how nice her teacher is, how the 5th grade boys are sooooo tall (why does she always notice the boys??) But the one major problem she has is with the bathroom...
"Mommy, I CAN NOT go to the bathroom there. The toilets flush automatically..."
What??? How can they have automatic flush toilets? That school is celebrating their 80th birthday next month; flush toilets were not around 80 years ago! Ever since Francesca has been potty-trained she has had an INTENSE fear of those automatic flush toilets. I think it all started at the Westchester Mall shortly after we made the transition from Pampers to princess panties. She was all hyped up about showing me how she could use the mall bathroom by herself. So I stood outisde the stall and kept watch while she did her business by herself. Next thing I know, I hear a tsunami-like flush followed by Francesca's blood-curdling scream.
"MOMMY HELP ME!!! THE POTTY IS TRYING TO SWALLOW ME!"
Any trip to the mall can now be severely curtailed if her highness Princess Poopy decides she has to go, and go NOW. We have dropped clothes in the middle of the store and left for home, just because she refuses to use the bathroom if it flushes automatically. Now, her school has these crazy auto flush sensors?? It can't be true! What are we supposed to do until 6th grade,when she switches schools?
So we were at a party and ran into a teacher, albeit from another school. She confirmed our worst fears.....YES, PARK AVENUE DOES HAVE AUTOMATIC FLUSH TOILETS. How could they? My daughter now faces a lifetime of constipation due to the fact she can't get over her fear that one of those stupid potties is going to splash her precious butt and swallow her alive.
Last week...a breakthrough! She actually went to the bathroom at school. One of those smart teachers thought to put a piece of paper in front of the sensor so it wouldn't trip up while Francesca was in there. HA! Now I know why we went to college; not to get a good job but to learn how to outsmart some smart invention. And here I thought our biggest problem would be making sure some bigger kid didn't steal her lunch money....